SOON Online Magazine

What did Eric Clapton and Marilyn Monroe say about sex and sexuality? Or Ayn Rand's write in Playboy? Were they right? Where is pornography and today's sexuality taking us?

CYBERPORN - IS IT FUN?

"A sex symbol becomes a thing."

Marilyn Monroe

 Picture of Marilyn Monroe

"I've always used sex as some kind of tool

....but...." Eric Clapton

Eric ClaptonIs it as dangerous as a drug?

Pornography is a billion dollar industry.
It is very profitable.
It exploits those who buy it - usually men.
It exploits those who are in it - usually women and girls.

Is it harmless?
Does it improve our lives?

Read on!

The trick

The girls in pornography are not real! Many photographic tricks are used. Trick lighting, trick angles, make up, airbrushing of photos. Real girls aren't really like that. At the beach or swimming pool, you will see that real girls are often spotty, blotchy, overweight - all the things that you probably are.

Girls as objects

Pornography does not show girls, even children, as people that can talk, think, worry. It shows them as objects, sex objects. The effect of this, is to make us see all girls as sex objects, as robots. We no longer think of women and girls as people like us. Is this OK? Would you like to see your sister, girlfriend, or mother working in pornography? If not, why not?

Marilyn Munroe, 50's and 60's film star, said,

"A sex symbol becomes a thing. I hate being a thing."

The relationship thing

It has been proved that when we begin to see all women as sex objects, we can no longer have real relationships with any woman. So instead of drawing us to women, pornography actually takes us away from them.

We may seek for satisfaction and love within pornography, but we cannot find it, because those things only come from real two-way relationships.

Eric Clapton, guitarist, (some say, the best guitarist in the world!) says that he has found that:

"I'm finding out in my recovery that I've always used sex as some kind of tool. As a way of holding someone hostage, to make an impression, fixing myself, fixing them. It's never been what it really is, which is an expression of love and as a means of continuing our existence on earth. But I've found I'm happier if I'm doing it in a monogamous relationship, and there's no deceit, and no lies, and it's a pure expression of affection."

Is sex the same as love?

This is the big mistake. Sex can be a way of expressing love, and that is what it was meant to be. But sex without love is meaningless. The more we are trapped by sex without love, the less we are capable of real love. And in fact, sex without love is not very enjoyable. Like a drug, it does not give what it promises. It leaves us empty. Only sex in the right context is happy, meaningful and satisfying.

Novelist Ayn Rand, said in a Playboy inteview,

"I consider promiscuity immoral. Not because sex is evil, because it is too good and too important."

Research results

Studies have shown that pornography is strongly linked to sexual violence. One study showed that men exposed to pornography came to think that rape was not important. Another study of sexual attack over a 23-year period, found that in 41% of cases, pornography was used before or during the attack. And in interviews with 36 convicted sex killers, 81% admitted that their biggest interest was in reading pornography.

Alan Sears, the director of a national Commission on Pornography, wrote,

"The staff worked hard to get people to testify in favour of the material, saying it benefited their life or marriage. We heard... many statements from people who claimed pornography is good for our culture, but we could not find one person who was willing to testify even behind a screen, saying they were the personal beneficiary of pornography. A sincere and substantial effort was made. We talked to clinicians, sex therapists, and many others, but no one was willing to say, 'I have benefited from using pornography'."

A dead end?

We think all this shows that pornography is a dead end.
BUT there is a way out

Read the stories of people who escaped
Jean of London

Dick of North Wales

Robert of Canada
I thank God for your web site . This morning I was searching for Pornography and instead I found Jesus. Every thing you wrote was so true, that sex outside of marriage is not from God. I looked at my relationship with my wife, I don't show her the love and respect that she longs for and deserves.

  Also look at our problem page, to help in life's worries.

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