Does anyone care if I kill myself? Will my suicide death hurt my friends and family? Help for suicidal feelings?

Who cares?

When we are depressed and feel like suicide, we tell ourselves that no one would mind, that even our close family and friends would easily recover.

This is not true!

Your death will tear your family and friends apart. Some may never recover. Some may commit suicide themselves.

Judy's story
Judy is a book-keeper and mother of three grown-up children. She writes of the pain she felt when her daughter made three attempts at suicide.

From a mother's heart
When my daughter tried three times to commit suicide, I felt a type of pain that I had never felt before. It was as though she was taking the life I gave her and throwing it back in my face. I thought, "How can she be so cruel to rip my heart open in such a way?" "How can she treat the gift I gave her with such contempt." "How can she not know that I would give my life over and over for her happiness?"
I stood outside the curtain with her lying close to death on the hospital bed and saw the machines attached to her and pipes going into her throat and lungs, and wondered why she would choose to hurt me in such a way. At that moment, I wanted to shake her and scream at her and get it into her mind some way, any way, that I loved her with all my heart. When I looked at her, I didn't see a 32-year-old woman lying there, I saw my little girl. The one I had held and loved and taught and carried in my arms. And my heart longed to lift her up again into my arms and cradle her from the hurt and pain and lies that she believed when she said "Nobody loves me". I loved her..... and she was throwing that love back in my face by attempting suicide. She said nobody understood her....... how could I not understand her? I gave her life. How can she not want to live when life is the most precious gift I could ever give her? Her death would have crushed me completely. I shall always see her as my child, my little girl, no matter how old she is. It is a pain worse than death to lose your child.
Judy's daughter was able to receive help, and is now living happily again. But Judy worries every time the telephone goes at night.
Suicide: there are answers!
Our advice page will help you, and gives email and phone helplines too. If you are feeling suicidal, please read this, and get help fast. There are many people waiting to help you through this time. They will understand how you feel. Samaritans and Befrienders offices around the world, offer a telephone advice service. Look in your phone book under 'Crisis'. You can also contact them by email at Samaritans.org in UK, and Befrienders in many countries around the world. They are completely confidential - they will never tell anyone else what you have shared with them They say, "Whatever you are going through, we will go through it with you." You can also get help at Women Today Magazine and Men Today Online and email their support address.

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