SOON Online Magazine
Stories
THE TIME I BROKE THE KITCHEN TABLE
by
Tom Parker
It was a summer night and I was in the kitchen alone. My parents and other siblings had all left for various reasons leaving me home alone. This was very rare for me and usually only occurred when I took sick days and everyone else had been healthy. Being alone can be dangerous sometimes. Boredom overcomes rational thought when you've nothing to do. This is what happened to me last summer. Boredom and warm weather melted together into a bad experience that has lowered my parent's expectations of me and has stuck me with an embarrassing story to write English essays about.
It was after seven o'clock and I hadn't eaten dinner. I was a little hungry so I opened our pantry of food. There were all sorts of things to eat. I finally decided to munch on some Frito barbeque chips. The kitchen T.V. was on and I was half watching a show where a man was eating bugs for money. I've seen it all before and the T.V. couldn't keep my attention. Boredom had started to sink its claws into my consciousness.
The dog was nipping my toes under the table. She was still puppy and didn't listen to anything I said. "No!" I said. "Stop it you dumb dog!" She was relentless in her crusade against my feet. Boredom had dimmed my common sense. I put my feet on the chair and sat on the edge of the table. I thought, "What harm could it do." The dog stopped biting my feet and slowly I got comfortable in my position.
Time passed slowly. I became more trusting in the table's support. I moved closer and closer to the center of the table. In the end I found myself in the center of the table sitting Indian style. Nothing happened when I sat. It was a little exciting being in a place where I wasn't. I started to get hungry again. I moved and the table moaned. Uh-oh I knew that that noise couldn't be good. I tried to get off in time but couldn't. CRASH! I found myself on the ground. The dog woke from its sleep into a sudden turmoil. I sat in shock for a few minutes. The table laid both in front and in back of me. It split down the middle where a removable leaf should go.
Fearful anticipation and the sudden urge to recite my entire vocabulary of vulgar words filled my mind. I couldn't believe what just happened. I looked around for the dog that usually sleeps under the table. Thank God! At least I didn't squash the dog. My parents would be home any second. As soon as the thought entered my head my parents walked in. I ran to the door and stopped my mother. I said "mom I did something very, very bad" She walked in the kitchen and her jaw dropped. My father behind her by a few steps almost did the same thing. That was a long night with mom and dad. I learned something very important that night. First of all, don't sit on tables and second of all boredom is a dangerous thing.
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