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Perfection in Life

As the majestic sun rises above the distant horizon it seems to float with an ease that is unmatched by anything of this world. Its beautiful rays shimmering brilliantly on the pristinely calm ocean water. As my eyes scan the distant horizon I can't help but think of the epic battles of man versus fish that have been occurring since the beginning of time. As my feet take me down the pristine beach towards the ponga I will soon board I cant help but feel a sense of achievement. An achievement that I will be able to connect with someone of a totally different background, a person whose language I do not speak. We will share a mutual love for the next eight hours. We will share an intimate part of ourselves, we will share our love for fishing. As I finally board the boat the captain begins pushing us out through the surf line and then lifts himself in to the one place that no man but he belongs at the helm of his boat. As he reaches pack and starts his semi ancient motor my heart begins to pound with the anticipation of the action to come. As the captain twists his wrist to initiate the throttle the bow of the boat begins to rise up out of the glass like water as the hull calmly cuts through it. The wordless seconds turn in to minutes and those minutes turn into hours as we glide smoothly up the eastern shore of the Baja Peninsula. Our eyes scanning the distance looking for any sign of fish mulling around these prestigious fishing grounds in the Sea of Cortez. As we pass over an underwater sea mount the captain slows the motor and gently removes three lively baits from his bait tank and then proceeds to hook them through their back as he lowers them into the water and lets them run freely. As the first bait hits the water and begins to flee from something that it saw deep below it I am filled with a sense of confidence, a confidence that assures me I will be victorious in the battles to come. As my pulse races and I anxiously await our first strike I turn to look into the sun stained face of my captain, into those caring eyes scanning the horizon for clues and signs of fish that only his trained eye could see. As I begin to turn away back towards the task at hand of manning the rod that is located next to me I see a spark of emotion rush through his body and then his emotion filled words finally penetrate my ears. His emphatic yet caring yell of "pesca! pesca!" finally sink in as I hear the line flying off the reel and the zing begins to hurt my ears. The captain jumps to man another rod as he reels it in as my brother mans the other reel franticly reeling the other baits in making sure that lines don't get tangled. As my battle against this enemy above all enemies, the blue marlin, begins. As I set the hook I feel the weight of this monster for the first time, and as the weight truly begins to pull with all its might I get filled with a sense that few have had and even fewer have been able to explain. It is a fear, not the normal fear that people equate to a situation but a true fear of life or death. A fear such as I am unwilling to relive past this point. As the line is still being pulled off the reel at a velocity which no human could match the skin on my left thumb is beginning to be burned off, yet this is a pain which I do not feel and shall never ever be able to truly feel for it is the pain that comes with success. As I slowly ease the pressure that I am applying with my thumb I reach over and tighten the drag almost to the breaking point of the line. As the fish still attempts to run at the same speed which it was capable of running at just seconds ago the added weight becomes too much and the fish begins to tire. As this tiring fish begins to realize that I am slowly gaining on it, it begins to dive towards the bottom to a depth that no human could even fathom of reaching. Yet it dives at a speed that this majestic animal's heart could not take and thus it subsequently bursts. Leaving a dead weight left suspended in the middle depths of this pristine ocean. As the captain and I both realize what had just happened we look at each other in a semi state of disbelief, but we both know what we must do. As the captain turns on the motor and begins moving away from the spot where the fish lay suspended I feel the weight begin to lessen and the fish slowly begins to rise to the surface as I begin reeling the line back onto the spool. After what seems like hours but was only minutes the fish is at the stern of our small ponga and is being pulled into the boat. As the time progresses and the same epic battles unfurl throughout the course of this unearthly long day I go through the same emotional roller coaster of life and death and of conquest and loss. Finally the captain turns the boat around and heads towards the distant mass that is land I look up in the sky just in time to see the sun falling out of its power into darkness. The joy that brought me to the boat this morning is the same joy that brings returns me to the landing beach this gentle evening. It is the days like this that shape human life, the days like this that make us who we are. I slowly turn back to look into those now caring eyes of my captain as I ask him, "Captain, why is it that you love to fish as I do?" and he responds by saying "My son, here is a story my dad told me and I would like you to share with your son some day when you have one and it is thus." "A last breath the last pulse of the heart was it worth it? An arduous battle for this? To see this perfection struggling in vein to know that I killed it that I took a life But my family needs food we have to eat my life is more important then its, isn't it? I need to eat But no not me it is not done for me it is done for my family But this creature was my love It represents my struggle in life But this time I won, or did I ? What is the victory in taking a life? But my family was starving, it is ok isn't it? Who am I to question life and death? We could have gone another day without food We could have survived My situation was not one of life and death But his was, I made it so. Would he have fought so hard if he knew that it was a struggle that he could not have won? Did he know that this was a losing cause? But who am I to question, I am only a fish a creature who needs to eat like everything else because to me, my life is more important than his." "That is why, I fish because I am like the fish, because I love to live. The same love that the fish had for his own life I have for mine. These words changed me and made me who I am today, as I am sure they will make you who you are."

© 2003 Gunnar McClellan

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