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Please Use The Other Exit

By Sarah Winton

The inanity of human behaviour never fails to amaze me. Fortunately, humour often lurks beneath the surface of such behaviour. Some people cannot seem to grasp the simplest of instructions. Whether this is the result of a simple lack of common sense or a symptom of a vast societal ill is not my prerogative to discover. Mine is simply an exercise in observation. An example. I come across them daily but there is one that I witnessed recently that lingers in my mind. I was aboard a ferry at the beginning of a weekend excursion from Victoria to Vancouver. My roommate, who was my travelling companion, and I were waiting patiently, close to the front of a long line of people anxiously awaiting entrance to the cafeteria and the promise of an overpriced and under-flavoured lunch. Two older women with the standard short, iron-grey and over-curled hair bustled their way to the front of the line amidst that infuriating rustle of nylon tracksuits. Apparently these passengers were oblivious or somehow exempt from the seemingly obvious line. Everyone standing in the queue, my roommate and myself included immediately began to vocalise our worries in urgent whispers concerning the possible intentions of these apparent rule breakers. Well, we needn't have worried. The ladies were not staging an attempt to secure their lunches first. They were simply trying to make their way to another part of the ship. The events of the next few minutes, although commonplace and certainly not extraordinary, held me in rapt attention. The women stopped in front of two closed doors, which clearly led into the lounge but which were also clearly locked. As a matter of fact there was a substantial sign with bright red lettering loudly pronouncing this fact. At the bottom of this large sign was the polite request that guests aboard the vessel use the doors on the other side of the cafeteria to gain entrance to the lounge. Apparently the sign did not give the instructions plainly enough for these women who leaned back and crossed their arms, clearly perplexed. One turned to the other, and shaking her head, lifted her hands in confusion. The second reached out and tried the door handle; perhaps the large, red-be-lettered sign was mistaken. Further discussion took place amidst fervent head shaking and hand gesturing. The first of the women did not seem to believe that her fellow traveller had pulled on the door properly. She proceeded to endeavour to pull it open using the full force of her body. She seemed surprised to learn that it was indeed locked. They leaned back and once again surveyed the situation in which they had found themselves. They seemed to be admitting defeat; the doors had somehow managed to outwit them. The women finally did manage to decipher the instructions and bustled off in a race to the other side of the cafeteria. As I listened to the fading sound of rustling nylon I shook my head in wonder while I considered the somewhat astonishing fact that these two examples of my fellow human beings had managed to survive into old age without being hit by a bus or falling into a river. I could continue to enliven your day with further anecdotes of a similar character, but this young cynic is weary.... and perhaps it is time to search for the brilliance that surely must exist in our world.

© 2003 Sarah Winton

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