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Reminiscing by John Powell

My! how time just seems to slip away from us as we go through our lives. We are so busy making a home for our wife and kids, that it's not until something bad happens, like a death in the family, that we realize how much time has past. When dad passed away I went right back to my school days. In 1951 we lived just outside a small country town in England called "Selling". There were two houses and an Oast house, which the farmer would dry the hops in for making beer. I remember we had to walk to school, it seemed a long way to walk at the time. After school we would get home and start our chores. We would have to saw the wood for the fire, so as to get the stove hot for mum when she got home from working in the fields. My brother Billy would get the veges ready, peel the spuds, top and tail the runner beans and wash and cut the cabbage. So all mum had to do was cook the tea when she got home. We would also get the table laid for tea. By this time dad would have come home from work and would be having a wash. We would all sit down for tea. First thing Dad would do is say grace, "Thank-you Lord for what we are about to receive, Amen." As we got older Dad started with the rules, "You don't talk or fidget at the table. Don't speak unless you're spoken to" If you wanted to leave the table you had to say "Please mum may I leave the table?" When tea was over we had to stand to attention, then Dad would give out the orders. "David, you clean the table, Billy, you wash up, John, you will dry up and Ken, you put them in the cupboard. On the weekends we were not allowed to go and play with our mates. We had to work in the garden, weeding in between the vegetables. On our holidays we had to get jobs, I remember coming home with my first wages, I had a 10 shilling note, I felt rich. When dad came in from work I thought he was going to take it off me, but instead he said, "You worked for it, It's yours, all I ask is you buy your mum a box of chocolates" From that moment I began to understand how much he loved mum. Dad found it very hard to show his affection, as a result, my brothers and I always thought he was a hard man. We accepted it. When we left school and started full-time work we were surprised when he said, " You now have to pay board but your weekends are yours." He went on, "Rule number one is, you're home no later than 9 o'clock." At the time I was quite happy with this arrangement, and when I reached seventeen I was allowed to stay out later. When I reached 19 the family immigrated to Australia. This was a great change in our lives, a new country, a new way of life. Even Dad changed, he called us his boys and he was very proud of us. Even though he never told us to our face. He told everyone else, which upset us so much. We never had the guts to tell him how much we loved him and could never get close to him, at least not as close as we wanted to. Then came the day the doctor told him he had asbestosis, a type of cancer that he more than likely got through his work in the Navy. He would not let us know how much pain he was in. He would still get on the floor with his great grandchildren and give his grandsons and daughters a big hug, but not his sons. I would cry on the inside every time he hugged my three children. I wished he would hug me. The night he passed on I was holding his hand and I said, "I love you Dad." With that he squeezed my hand. I then knew he loved me. My brother Billy was stroking his forehead and Ken was holding his other hand. I noticed his feet going black. I said to my wife, Robyn, "Quick, get the family." She said, "Yes I don't think Dad's got long to go." The family came in, there was Sylvia, Fran, Robyn, my brothers and I around the bed. Dad took a deep breath. I said, "I think Dad's gone." Billy kissed him on the forehead. My brother Ken who is an ex-soldier, said, "Stand down sailor, your duty is over." I don't know how long we cried for. I don't even remember my other brothers coming in. Roy, Michael, David and my sister in-laws Vanessa, Cathy and Trish came in with my mother. Mum was in so much shock. The girls took her outside. She was in one h*** of a mess. I looked at my brothers and we gave each other a big hug. I knew, no matter how bad our Dad seemed to be at times, he had made six boys into men and we loved him very much. It is now almost two years since he passed on but it seems like yesterday. Time has flown in a way but the pain and memories still linger. Songs and stories bring Dad back to us. Appreciate one another and live every day to the fullest. God bless you Dad, wherever you are.

© 2004 John Powell

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